My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize