pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
