You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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