she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
