Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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