i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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