Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
