Three words: puerto rican gang bang
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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