this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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