we're chasing vodka with high fives
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
