Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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