That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
