I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm eating all of the evidence.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize