is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
