Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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