dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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