dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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