I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
