Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
