What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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