"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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