just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
