I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cannot find my penis.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
