He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
