I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
