The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
