I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
