I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize