Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize