he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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