The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
