I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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