Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You smell like stripper and shame
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
