Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
