can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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