I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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