at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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