Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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