Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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