piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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