I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I want to fling myself into the sun
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
