I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize