I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
