Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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