oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
