Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
