bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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