Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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