I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
