It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
