my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
