i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
3pm strippers are depressing
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize