Four minutes until I can fart!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
