I love black thongs
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
