do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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