Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
