is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
