he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
