if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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