mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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