Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
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It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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