it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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