there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
