is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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