Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
