WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
