I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
