it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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