If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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